sorrowful, yet always rejoicing

"We put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses...dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.
We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. As a fair exchange—I speak as to my children—open wide your hearts also."

2 corinthians 6:3,4, 9-13



addie brought this passage to my attention this weekend. now it burns within me...and yet to me God speaks differently than he spoke to her. his word is living and active.

all i can say is that you can take this world from me. i don't need it anymore, for i am finally free...my hear is spoken for by the LORD God Almighty. i want jesus more than anything. i feel what Paul is talking about this week. circumstances so quickly shift, and things have been good and bad. tonight, more news brings me down, and my heart burns especially for my friends and my roommate right now.

bad news makes me sorrowful, and many of my circumstances should make me feel down. yet i have this incomprehensible joy that envelops me each day. although i feel absolute sorrow about certain circumstances, i cannot help but smile at the thought of my Lord Jesus Christ. i can't contain it. i must tell everyone i meet of the amazing things that God has done for me. i just can't contain it. i must tell. i must.

during my sophomore year i told god for the first time in my life that he could touch any part of my life, taking away whatever he wanted to, just so that i could know God more. i look back and realize that my life has taken a drastic turn since then...full of sorrow, pain, discomfort, and difficulty. yet, i wouldn't trade any of these experiences for the insurpassible greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.

hallelu jah, praise the Lord!

at your feet

jesus be my portion
jesus be my king
lover of souls i am giving you all i have
because i know all that i need i will find at your feet

i know all that i need i will find at your feet.


what can i do but lay it all down before God? times are confusing and disorienting. the future still seems to be clouded by this fog of uncertainty. my desires conflict with one another - i want God, and yet i find myself wanting the things of this world.

what can i do but set all that i can offer at the foot of the cross? i don't have much to offer at all. i've learned to a greater depth this year that my strengths turn to weakness in view of the lord. i don't really have much that is good to offer to God. yet, he wants it all. he's called me to step into the light of his presence so that i can see myself for who i really am - a redeemed child of God by the blood of jesus. and so, i set everything i have before the cross of Jesus Christ, and in his mercy God looks upon me in love.

what else is there to do but to let God have his way in me? looking back at this year, i know i have made mistake after mistake. yet, God in his mercy has been patient with me. he is "the only wise God" (romans 11). my wisdom and understanding mean nothing. he is the one that is working in me to work and to act according to his good purpose.


be lifted high in my life, Lord. in the mighty name of Jesus, Amen.