approaching God after sinning

"Therefore, since we have a high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."
Hebrews 4:14-16


i fell yesterday. i messed up. i made a mistake. i sinned. i missed the mark.

last night very late i was reading in hebrews and stumbled across these verses. i read that chapter earlier that morning and kind of saw what it was about. then i came back, not really expecting God to speak into my life like he did. the verses before this one talk about God's word being "living and active." how many times have i seen that to be true. last night was no execption, and yet it still caught me off guard. as i looked into these verses and really took some time to meditate on them, it struck me.

here's my paraphrase of these verses:

Because Jesus, our high priest and representative, has victoriously gone through the heavens, let's hold on to the faith that we've got in him. Although Jesus sits in heaven now, he isn't far from us. Just because he's there doesn't mean he doesn't know the pain, the frustration, the weakness, and the failure that we as humans deal with. No, he's been tempted just like us. he's felt the pull of sin. he's lived through times where he could have fallen...because he's human too, he's not just God. yet...he lived this life perfectly. So, because Jesus knows what we're going through and how hard it is for us to follow him, we can approach the throne of grace with confidence. whenever we fall, we can come confidently to God for mercy. and, when we're feeling really weak and about to sin, God will give us grace to help us from falling if only we would ask.

besides....his heart burns for us! he can't love us any less for making a mistake. and he can't love us any more because he's loved us with all the love that there is in the world.

(there's balance to this. although God understands that we will stumble, fall and fail as we try to follow him, he doesn't like it when we do. so, we must make every effort to live a pure and blameless life. just don't beat yourself up when you make a mistake)


all of yesterday i wrestled with guilty feelings, with disappointment in my self. i knew that God had forgiven me the moment i asked for forgiveness, but i still felt bad. i don't like that. and i didn't like saying sorry to him over and over again, you know? have you ever had someone wrong you or break something of yours and then apologize over and over again? i've done it before. its like you feel so bad that you don't think that one sorry is enough, so you say it over and over again. in reality, that doesn't help. it just annoys the person who has to keeps saying, "its ok!!! i forgave you the first time you said you were sorry. you don't need to say it 20 more times!"

i feel like that's the same thing with God. he forgave us already, so there is no need to carry around that shame. Jesus paid the price for it...we don't need to beat ourselves up for it. he already took that punishment.

that's why God says in his word that we can approach God's throne with confidence - 1) he loves us so much it doesn't matter! 2) he understands that we'll mess up every once and a while because he's been there, and 3) Jesus paid the price. all God wants is repentance and humility.

all in

one of the things that has been on my mind a lot lately is this idea of being "all in" for God. as this year winds down and begins to come to a close, i have been looking back on the things that i have learned this year, and throuhout all of high school. this seems to be one of the biggest things God has been showing me over the past two years.

the biggest challenge in the christian life is to surrender control entirely over to God. this is why Christianity is called a "faith." faith is the basis for following Jesus. take it from the beginning - the requirement for salvation is this idea of belief. a little while ago i was studying the book of john, which is packed full of sentences that all say something similar to, "if you believe in Jesus, you will have eternal life." this confused me for a long time. that's the only thing God wants from us? to believe? to believe in what? Jesus? what does it mean to believe in Jesus? is that just to believe that he's real, or is it something more? i read some notes on this word 'belief' and found that the word carries more than just believing that he is real. to believe in Jesus means that you trust him, believing that he died to be your savior, and that you'll follow him because of it. just like Paul says in romans 12, this is our only reasonable response - to live a life of worship after realizing what we have been saved from.

God wants us to be all in with him. he doesn't want to be added in with everything else we desire. he doesn't want anything less than whole-hearted devotion. just as he extended the invitation to his disciples, he still whispers daily into our ears, "follow me."

this is where trust comes in. in conflict with God is our very own flesh. we have this nature to want to know, to want to be in control, and to want to do our own thing. we don't want to need God. we want to be self sufficient, and maybe have a little God in our life because it feels good or we're guaranteed of having life after death. we don't want to abandon control of our life for something that's uncertain. and, when we follow God, there are a ton of uncertainties.

and yet, on the other side of our flesh is this all-powerful, good, wise, and loving God. God wants to take care of us! he wants to lead us on, because he knows exactly what is best for us. he knows the way to ultimate peace and joy - and that's in himself. he makes some ridiculously amazing promises in his word for those who turn from themselves and follow him. the biggest of these for me is romans 8:28 - "and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." God promises to work for our good IF we only love him. do you really love God? no, do you REALLY? what does loving God look like? think about it for a second. other promises that God makes to us include a promise of a full life if only we turn to him (john 10:10), the promise to meet all of our needs (phil 4), to guide us in the best possible course (psalm 32:8), etc. etc. God is offering us so very much! and yet we neglect it so often in exchange for something far less valuable.

can you trust God? can you give it one shot...let go of control and seek God with all your heart. i am positive he will blow you away.

the point where things began to change in my life for the good was when i was able to say with an honest heart that God could do whatever he wanted with me, if only i could have him. i prayed that prayer and have never stopped praying it because God knows what he is doing. he has a perfect plan and i want to trust him fully. i pray for more faith so that i can let go of more and let God take control entirely.

i've been reading through isaiah and proverbs, and its crazy to find out more about God's character. there are really 2 themes that run through both of these books that God wrote. 1) he hates pride. he wants us to know that all we have been given is a blessing, and not something that we have earned. 2) all he desires from us is repentance! he doesn't want anything else but for us to turn away from the things of this world and run to him with all that we've got. he doesn't want to just be part of our lives. he wants to be everything! he wants our eyes to be on him. he wants us to be men and women who have hearts that desire what he desires and that only long to be with him alone! that's it..a turning!

a new favorite verse of mine is found in isaiah 57:15 - " ' I live in a high and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the ehart of the contrite. ' "

turn to God. give things up for him. give him the best of your time. set your eyes on him alone. just say a simple prayer of faith to him right now..