the unchanging one

what a glorious hope we have in the nature of our unchanging God!

everything around me is changing. all that once was so familiar is now unsure and unstable. college has changed everything. either my friends have moved away from me, or i have moved away from my friends. college is different than high school. i don't like it. all of my relationships are different. my relationship with God has had to change because of how busy i am (the way i spend my time with him). my relationship with addie has changed. my relationships with all my close friends have changed. i have new relationships with new people. my relationship with my family has changed. church is changing. ah....in this moment i long for something that won't change! it is really hard. all the things i can see, feel, and touch are different. everything. i don't like it at all.

isn't that like all of us, though? we want something to remain constant in life. its just in this moment that this truth is becoming more apparent to me. what else is there to put my trust in than the promises of my Lord? he is what my heart longs for, and he is the purpose behind every one of these other relationships. ah, my heart pants for Him as i write this! it burns with an intense longing to no longer see in part, but grasp the love of my King in its fullest. I want him oh so bad! and yet, as the things of this world cause me pain and uncomfortability, God is doing this exact work in my heart. he's bringing me toward sanctification. he's revealing to me the "fullness of Christ." he wants me, and i want him.

Lord, it is hard to trust you right now when all that once was certain is falling down. i can't see you, but i know you're in control. i don't understand the purpose behind all of this, but i have faith in you. i know that you're doing all of this with a perfect purpose. give me more faith so that i can rest in your promise. through these hardships burn away my desire for all that is not of you. i need you God. set my heart at rest in your presence. in Jesus' name,

amen.

i need you so much closer...

i know that in my last blog i talked about the love of God in his forgiveness and ability to bring us to holiness. those are the ideals. that's the big picture. when we get to the practical side of things, it hurts a lot more. we all sin and make stupid mistakes. we know that there's something better, and yet we forget about it and trade it for a temporary, false pleasure. it is hard to see the big picture sometimes. also, it is hard to trust God in times of hardship when everything doesn't really make sense. this life is hard....its so hard to have faith.

that's kind of where i'm at right now.

God, be close to me. give me faith, more faith. help me to take my eyes off of the things of this world. let me be caught up in the splendor of my relationship with you. i need you to work in me. fill my mind and my heart with your love. change me, God. I'm all in.