on drawing close to God

i have been praying for some time now that i'd become a man after God's own heart, just like david. i want to fall passionately in love with my savior and king. i want to know God and be known by him, feeling the warmth of his embrace and the coolness of his breath; detatched from the world and infatuated with the King. i want to be known as a lover of God.

God has really brought me to a new level as i listen to him in reading his word. he's called me to be "all in" for him and to spend more time and effort seeking after him. in 6th grade i ran long distance in track. one of my coaches - coach carson - gave me a little plaque that says, "The precious possession of a man is DILIGENCE, proverbs 12:27." now, i'm learning more what it means to diligently seek after God.

its weird to me when we grow in our relationship with God, because its never by anything that we do that we come closer to him. Jesus himself said that no one can come to the Son unless the Father who sent him draws him. in 1 John, God says, "No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God's seed remains in him; he CANNOT go on sinning, because he has been born of God." this leads me to believe that, just as in salvation we can do nothing to gain our salvation, we cannot do anything that will draw us closer to God. it's God who does the work in our hearts so that we might know him better. and, this makes sense, because then there is still no room for boasting.

this leaves us with a bit of a predicament, however. if we don't "try" in our relationship with God, we wouldn't grow. if i simply sat around and waited for God to draw me closer to him, that would not happen. this act of God doing the work in our hearts is hard to work out in our day to day life. when do we wait on God, and when do we try hard? how do we try to please God without being "religious" or legalistic?

a. w. tozer writes, "Important as it is that we recognize God working in us, I would yet warn against a too-great preoccupation with the thought. It is a sure road to sterile passivity. God will not hold us responsible to understand the mysteries of election, predestination and the divine sovereignty. The best and safest way to deal with these truths is to raise our eyes to God and in deepest reverence say, "O Lord, Thou knowest." Those things belong to the deep and mysterious Profound of God's omniscience. Prying into them may make theologians, but in will never make saints."

and so the focus again turns to us. this is biblical too. i love what Paul writes to the philippains -

"Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed - not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence - continue to WORK OUT your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. (2:12-13)"

this is awesome! we have the assurance that God is the one who works in us so that we might become more like him. but, we are encouraged to 'work out' our salvation. God wants us to give labor to loving him and knowing him. it takes hard work, suffering and uncomfortability, but the best things in life always come by way of hard work and perseverance. we are willing to put hard work into sports, school, work, relationships, and pursuing whatever we love, but are we willing to put hard work into the ultimate Good, and the source of all the good in the world??

God opened my eyes and asked me to go a little deeper into him a few weeks ago. he's called me to be a student of the word and to listen to him intently, spending long hours with him in the 'inner chamber.' in obedience i have yielded to him out of love for him and a desire to know him more fully. it has been so hard at times, and i've already failed so much. yet, i'm simply working out my salvation. and i have this confidence that God's working in me and winking at my weaknesses, lavishing me with blessing after blessing in extreme patience. oh the love of God! how worthy is he of my praise!

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!" "Oh the depth of the riches of the wisom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgements, and his paths beyond tracing out! ' Who has known th mind of the Lord? or who has been his counselor?' ' who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?' For FROM HIM AND THROUGH HIM AND TO HIM ARE ALL THINGS. TO HIM BE GLORY FOREVERMORE! AMEN."