i don't know about you, but so much of my personal relationship with Jesus has been interwoven with all of you and this whole church thing that we're trying this summer. every time i come to God, i can't help but pray for all of you and ask God not only what he wants me to do, but also what he is calling all of us to do as well.
this morning i have been spending time with God in prayer, and i've been very frustrated. honestly, i feel like we're losing the vision that God has given us. i feel like we've been attacked with the small beginnings of disunity. i feel like i have no clue how to live out what God has called us to. i look at what we are doing right now, and i see some cool stuff. yet when i look at the word of God and the kind of life that it calls us to be living, i see so much more. i have spent the morning searching my heart and realizing how many areas i have fallen short in leading all of you as well as just in my personal relationship with Jesus.
already, although we've only been doing this for a month and a half, there have been numerous times where thoughts have come into my head of giving up. at times i have felt attacked, burdened, and alone - and i've told God that this is too much to handle. yet every time these questions come into my mind of quitting this, God seems to quickly answer.
i'm convinced that, although things aren't ideal at this point, God is behind what we're doing. if it weren't for him in the first place, we'd be done for by now. i see many evidences of his grace in our meetings and in things surrounding what we're doing. yet i know there's more. there's got to be so much more that God's calling us to. i read this verse as i was on the plane flying back from chicago: "For since in the wisdom of God the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe." 1 Cor. 1:21 as i read this, the idea of worldly wisdom stuck out to me as so stupid. we cannot know God through our own wisdom, and i feel like God is also telling me that we cannot know God's will for this church through our own wisdom either.
this morning, as i've been praying, i have been asking God for his wisdom for what we're doing. i flat out asked him, "what do you want us to do?" because i'm kinda clueless at this point honestly. i felt impressed upon my heart one word: pray.
honestly, i don't want to pray. i'd rather start doing stuff and seeing people come to know Jesus. i feel like for years the church as i know it has used prayer as an excuse for inaction. and yet, i feel like God is calling us to pray - because its not by our wisdom or effort that anything will be accomplished in this city. it's not our strength. it's god's. God's power for God's work. and i feel like if we set aside what we think we should be doing and begin to fast and pray for God to move in our hearts and in this city, this would be the best way of giving God the glory. i trust him when he says that whatever we ask for in his name he will give to us. and when we ask for things to be shaken in the city of salem, i believe that God will hear us.
therefore, pray. when you find yourselves with one another, take a moment to pray for the church in salem and for God to bring people out of darkness and into light. pray for each other. pray for God's spirit to move. sit and wait in God's presence. listen to him. we can't do this with our own strength. it's got to be him.
this week, i will be at the house of prayer every night from 10pm to 11pm praying for all of you and for this city. if you can, please come and join me. let us pray in the belief that God can and will do something great within this city.
blessings,
collin
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