approaching God after sinning

"Therefore, since we have a high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."
Hebrews 4:14-16


i fell yesterday. i messed up. i made a mistake. i sinned. i missed the mark.

last night very late i was reading in hebrews and stumbled across these verses. i read that chapter earlier that morning and kind of saw what it was about. then i came back, not really expecting God to speak into my life like he did. the verses before this one talk about God's word being "living and active." how many times have i seen that to be true. last night was no execption, and yet it still caught me off guard. as i looked into these verses and really took some time to meditate on them, it struck me.

here's my paraphrase of these verses:

Because Jesus, our high priest and representative, has victoriously gone through the heavens, let's hold on to the faith that we've got in him. Although Jesus sits in heaven now, he isn't far from us. Just because he's there doesn't mean he doesn't know the pain, the frustration, the weakness, and the failure that we as humans deal with. No, he's been tempted just like us. he's felt the pull of sin. he's lived through times where he could have fallen...because he's human too, he's not just God. yet...he lived this life perfectly. So, because Jesus knows what we're going through and how hard it is for us to follow him, we can approach the throne of grace with confidence. whenever we fall, we can come confidently to God for mercy. and, when we're feeling really weak and about to sin, God will give us grace to help us from falling if only we would ask.

besides....his heart burns for us! he can't love us any less for making a mistake. and he can't love us any more because he's loved us with all the love that there is in the world.

(there's balance to this. although God understands that we will stumble, fall and fail as we try to follow him, he doesn't like it when we do. so, we must make every effort to live a pure and blameless life. just don't beat yourself up when you make a mistake)


all of yesterday i wrestled with guilty feelings, with disappointment in my self. i knew that God had forgiven me the moment i asked for forgiveness, but i still felt bad. i don't like that. and i didn't like saying sorry to him over and over again, you know? have you ever had someone wrong you or break something of yours and then apologize over and over again? i've done it before. its like you feel so bad that you don't think that one sorry is enough, so you say it over and over again. in reality, that doesn't help. it just annoys the person who has to keeps saying, "its ok!!! i forgave you the first time you said you were sorry. you don't need to say it 20 more times!"

i feel like that's the same thing with God. he forgave us already, so there is no need to carry around that shame. Jesus paid the price for it...we don't need to beat ourselves up for it. he already took that punishment.

that's why God says in his word that we can approach God's throne with confidence - 1) he loves us so much it doesn't matter! 2) he understands that we'll mess up every once and a while because he's been there, and 3) Jesus paid the price. all God wants is repentance and humility.