center

"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knwoledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness."
2 Peter 1:3


so i got back from this new job i started just a little bit ago. i feel so stupid, because i didn't do it right and i made this old guy i was working with stay late to help me. it hasn't been the greatest of nights.

i didn't know if i was going to have to work or not tonight so i called this afternoon, hoping that i wasn't. i wanted to go with all my friends to the oly pageant, but i found out that i worked. so, i showed up and things were going pretty well. i am a "range attendant" now, and i don't do much else but drive this little cart around picking golf balls up from the driving range. today, work started out well, and i was just driving around thinking, praying, and memorizing some verses. it was pretty sweet...i mean, i would have rather been with all my friends, but it was me and God driving around out there in the beautiful weather, and it was good.

i just met the guy i was working with today. he's probably in his sixties - kind of a grumpy old man. he's also got a broken foot so he just hobbles around. he needed me to do some stuff, which distracted me from the stuff i needed to be doing. as closing time was coming, i had a lot more to do than i had hoped, and i didn't want to make this old guy mad at me the day i met him. so, i was doing alright, and probably wouldn't have been too bad off, but the machine i was using stopped working. i had to tell the old man (his name is earl). he helped me out, but we ended up staying an hour after closing, and i felt really bad for making him stay because he was obviously unhappy about it...and, guess what? i get to work with him tomorrow!

i didn't want to work today, and i don't want to work tomorrow. i had other plans.

i don't really like my new job, and i didn't like the one i had before. why is this? this job sort of fell into my lap just like the last one did...like God wanted me to have this job. why would he do that? why would he seemingly give me a job that i do not like whatsoever? i know it might be a little early to say that, but i definitely don't enjoy working when i could be doing something that i feel is much more important than a little cash. and, i don't enjoy earl. so, why am i working here? do i quit this job just like i quit my last one? how long til i can quit? why does God have me working here?

i don't exactly know the answer to this. maybe i'm supposed to share Jesus with earl and the other people i'll get to work with. maybe its just an experience for the future. maybe its so that i can grow closer to God while driving around in my cart being pegged by golf balls.

the one thing i do know is that God is directing my life. he is in control. he gave me this job, for whatever purpose he might have for it. he has me here for a reason. i can trust him. and, plus...its not about me. its all about him. so i'll do whatever i do for his glory. my view has to be centered around God, not only in church or at home or at school, but in all aspects of my life. he is the center of everything, and should not be witheld from anything. look at that verse up there again - His divine power has given us everthing we need for life - pause. look at that! meditate on that! what a promise that is to us. God has given us everything we need for life through his power. alright, continue - and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. alright, so God's power has given us everything we need for godliness too. that's pretty sweet as well. it looks like that pretty much covers everything that i could ever be concerned about. how do we access this "divine power?" well, "through our knowledge of him." as we get to know him, which comes through spending time with him by talking to him and reading his word, his power directs our lives. and then...just look how everything comes back to him in this verse..."his divine power, through our knowledge of him, who called us by his own glory and goodness." he's it. the center...the only option for us.

he's the center. we look at him and things somehow seem to fall into place. that's how its been with my life. and that's why i can have confidence in this whole job thing. i hate it, but God's in control, and he'll do what he wants. i'm his and that's it.

sorry, long, stupid build up for a simple message. i mostly just needed to vent somewhere - and you, lucky reader, were the object of my venting. don't you feel privileged?

p.s. - lessons from arizona, soon to come. stay tuned, if there's anyone who actually reads this. i only know of one person (jesca). so, if you really wanted to make me feel super special, you could comment on this and tell me that you read this. that would make my day.