relationships

relationships can be so amazing at times. they're really what we live for, and what its all about. and yet, sometimes relationships can be so difficult. i'm not just talking about dating relationships or relationships with the opposite sex. i'm talking about interaction with other human beings. friendships...

some people can seem to make so much sense for such a long time, and then there comes a random point where they don't. they don't make any sense at all. they do something that is totally irrational in your perspective. conflict...it really really blows.

right now i feel like i'm in the midst of a lot of conflict in my relationships. i feel so confused and just lost. tonight i sat on my bed for like an hour trying to figure out what happened earlier. i still don't get it. i feel so alone. there's hardly anyone who really pursues me and takes the time to know me. it is frustrating.

yet, within the midst of all these emotions and conflict and badness, there is one thing that sticks out...one relationship that will never fail me.

someone wrote this to me last february, and i feel like it really speaks to the time that i'm in right now -

"earlier you said that you would be willing to give anything to God to get to that deeper level with Him, and maybe this is it. maybe His plan is for you to completely, in all ways, depend on Him, and not on the people around you, to find your joy, strength, peace, and satisfaction."

with the apparent silence and dryness that has been in my relationship with God lately, it is easy for me to look for that satisfaction through other relationships. of course that's stupid of me, but its natural. i guess i just have to keep pressing on to know Christ, remembering that everything else, when compared to the surpassing greatness of my relationship with Christ Jesus, is TRASH! hate to break it to you, but whoever you are reading this, the relationship i have to you is rubbish when compared to my relationship with God. when compared to that relationship, Jesus said that all of our other loves should be as hatred.

so, i guess all i can do is to keep my vision narrowly focused upon the face of the one who loves me more than anyone else on this world could ever dream of. it'll be worth it