some random thoughts from the gov cup

luke 4

first temptiation- representative of God's care and provision.

one's well being is not limited to being "well fed." Jesus trusts that although the Spirit of God led him into the desert, his promise to take care of him will not fail in the wilderness. matt chandler said in a message today that when he seems to be obeying, following and trusting Christ with everything he's got and things aren't really going the way that they should, then his natural tendency is to look for an easy way out. that's me right now. i feel like i'm doing what i can to seek the Lord and be obedient to him, and yet things really don't seem like they are going my way. i'm being frustrated at every turn.

this is me right now. i feel as if i have been led into the wilderness this summer. my plans have been thwarted over and over again. austria...not happening due to my surgery. ministry with credo...down the drain with doug's absence at morning star. job at Great Harvest...frustrated by a longer recovery from surgery than anticipated. the past few days i have been extremely frustrated at the prospect of doing nothing every day. things look real bleak. i have no income, and i have no place to work.

yet I must trust that God is taking care of me. these circumstances have all been outside of my control. its amazing that God would even think of me in this hard(er) time. he does, and he gives me comfort throughout this time. i must do my best to just keep at it. sometimes that's how its got to be i guess.

have you ever ran long enough and hard enough that your legs felt completely disconnected from your body? this used to happen a lot more than it does when i'm on crutches. i remember time and time again where i've been at soccer practice doing windsprints with eric johnasen standing there mercilessly. we would do these things called "scottish 18's." 18 full-field sprints in 18 seconds each with an 18 second break inbetween each. for the first few, things would be easy. i'd be laughing with my teammates and just sort of having a good time before the pain hit in. then, the pain started to come. you're body started yelling at you and telling you to stop. then, probably like the last 3 or 4 sprints, your legs just completely disappeared. you willed yourself to just start your legs going, and then somehow you started moving toward the other end of the field.

during that stage where you cannot feel your legs and you really don't know why you're body is moving, your body gains the most. sometimes i feel this way in my relationship with the Lord - i feel nothing, and it seems like i'm just going through the motions. everything inside me asks why i'm doing this...seeking a God that seems to be silent, putting effort into something that yields nothing, trying to listen to God when he doesn't seem to be saying anything.

and yet, its moments like these when God's goodness makes absolutely no sense. at some point, he always rescues us. when things are bleak and we're about to turn back, God gives us a word of comfort, something as much as having a familiar face sit down and listen to you at a coffee shop where you're writing this.

press on, keep going...by his grace we will know the Lord and worship him in Spirit and truth.